


Below My Feet

by goldenkraken



Category: Free!
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Deepthroating, Dom/sub Undertones, Face-Fucking, Hand Jobs, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Light Angst, M/M, Masturbation, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-12-05 18:37:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11583804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldenkraken/pseuds/goldenkraken
Summary: Nagisa isn't coping very well. He reaches out to Makoto for help and, as always, Makoto obliges.





	Below My Feet

**Author's Note:**

> sorry ;o;

It took Makoto slightly longer than necessary to unlock the door to his dorm. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d worked so late; he was exhausted. With a sigh, he padded into the room and flicked on the light, closing the door behind him as he did so. The bed opposite his own was empty and there seemed to be no sign of his roommate, meaning that Kisumi probably wouldn’t be sleeping here tonight. Makoto couldn’t help the relief that flowered inside his chest. As much as he liked Kisumi, the basketball player could be a bit too much when Makoto simply wanted to sleep. The brunet lowered his duffel bag onto the floor beside his bed before reaching into his pocket and pulling out his phone. He kicked off his shoes as he unlocked the phone screen, feeling a slight pang of surprise when he saw that it was only 8:13pm.

While he was studying at university, Makoto also worked at a swimming pool to gain extra experience. Today had been a particularly trying day and he’d had to work overtime, which normally wouldn’t have been a problem, but he’d also spent four hours in school before that _and_ he’d had to wait far too long for the bus home.

Thankfully it was a Friday.

The brunet rose to his feet, holding his arms up high as he stretched and stifled a yawn. _This is nothing compared to that night after our first training session in the ocean_ , he noted as his lips curved into the ghost of a smile. His days as the captain of the Iwatobi swim team seemed so long ago, but he could recall every memory with ease. Makoto considered those days to be some of the best of his life. Things were different now but that was okay. He had become okay with things simply being okay.

Makoto pulled his shirt over his head and walked into the en suite that he and Kisumi shared. He completely divested himself of clothing and deposited the bundle into the hamper near the door. Despite being older, Makoto’s body hadn’t changed much since high school. He had retained his broad, muscular frame even though he no longer swam as often as he had when he’d been part of a team. He wasn’t in a club anymore and he wasn’t training to be a professional but he still found solace in the water. Sometimes he found himself wondering if Haru still loved the water or whether it had just become part of a job to him. All that training, the focus on times… the pressure. Could that have killed whatever Haru found so captivating and freeing about being in the water when he was younger?

Makoto could barely recall the last real conversation that he’d had with Haru.

Thinking about Haru was never a good idea. Makoto pulled back the shower curtain and quickly turned the heat up to its highest setting.

A while later, Makoto emerged from the bathroom with a fluffy white towel wrapped around his waist. Droplets of water clung to his wet brown hair, and his skin was flushed from the shower’s heat. Using a smaller towel, he dabbed at his hair as he walked to the wooden chest of drawers by his bed. He turned as he noticed a sudden flash out of the corner of his eye and he quickly realised that the blinking light was coming from his phone. The brunet seized his mobile up from where it lay discarded on his bed and unlocked the screen as he reached into his drawers to locate a fresh pair of pyjama bottoms.

One missed call and two text messages – all from Nagisa Hazuki.

Makoto sighed internally and set the phone down on the drawers as he pulled on the pants. If Nagisa was contacting him at this time then it only meant one thing. Normally he wouldn’t mind but today had been long and tiring. _I haven’t even had dinner yet,_ Makoto realised faintly.

He returned the towels to the bathroom then sank down onto his bed to open up the two texts.

**Nagisa [20:21]: hey mako-chan~ if ur not busy can i come over??**

**Nagisa [20:34]: please x**

An uneasy feeling settled in the pit of Makoto’s stomach. He had known Nagisa long enough to know when something was wrong, even when he might seem perfectly normal to anybody else. Had something happened? It wasn’t common for Nagisa to use ‘please’ in this context and normally he would be more forward about why he wanted to come over. Makoto was used to it and on most days he quite liked his and Nagisa’s arrangement.

Nagisa was so sunny and so vibrant that it was easy to forget that he had his dark days. There were times when the bubbly blond couldn’t bear to be alone; on those days he would go to Makoto.

**> > [20:44] Sorry I was in the shower! Of course you can come over. Kisumi isn’t here right now so it’ll just be the two of us.**

**Nagisa [20:45]: okay uwu**

**Nagisa [20:45]: i’ll be there soon!**

Makoto half-expected Nagisa to be knocking on the door already. He had done that once; asking Makoto if he could visit him after already arriving. How could you say no to someone if they were already there? Not that Makoto would ever say no to him. It was difficult for anyone to deny Nagisa anything, but it was even harder for someone like Makoto – someone who always strived to look after everyone and keep them happy. He had changed a lot since his high school days but no amount of time or experience could rid him of his kindness. Not truly.

As he waited for Nagisa to show up, Makoto decided to tidy the room a little and check over his reflection in the bathroom mirror. ‘University looks good on you’, Nagisa had told him once. Looking in the mirror, Makoto wasn’t quite sure what he had meant by that. His wardrobe had certainly improved since high school and he tended to wear his glasses a lot more than usual, but what else was there? His hair was a little different and he had gotten one of his ears pierced (the piercing had been Kisumi’s fault entirely, but Nagisa loved it – which was unsurprising, given that Nagisa had a few piercings of his own) but as a whole he looked largely the same. Or at least, he _felt_ the same. He was older, more independent, far less naïve and no longer dependent on someone who often left him feeling inferior, but at heart he was still the same as he’d always been.

The minutes ticked by and Makoto decided to pull on a t-shirt even though it was nothing that Nagisa hadn’t seen before. His lips curved upward in amusement as he noted that if Nagisa got his own way, he’d be naked soon anyway.

A quick rapping of knuckles against the front door alerted Makoto to his friend’s arrival. Quickly, he hurried to the door and pulled it open.

Nagisa was standing with his arms behind his back and he grinned the moment that Makoto laid eyes upon him. Dressed in a pastel yellow t-shirt and soft shorts, he hadn’t really changed much since Iwatobi – though it had only been a year for him so far.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, Mako-chan,” Nagisa said brightly, rocking back on his feet as he spoke.

“Oh, you didn’t take that long. I was expecting to wait longer actually,” Makoto replied as he stepped aside to allow the shorter man into the room.

Nagisa kicked off his shoes then flopped down onto Makoto’s bed as though it were his own.

 _Well, it may as well be his since he spends so much time in it,_ Makoto thought to himself with a vague note of amusement. He closed the door and watched as Nagisa sprawled out on the bed, wrapping his arms around one of the pillows and cuddling it against his chest. A jolt of panic shot through Makoto’s body as he spotted the fresh pink lines adorning the smaller boy’s arms and a lump formed in the back of his throat.

“Nagisa –”

“I don’t wanna talk about it!” Nagisa exclaimed sharply as he sat upright, still holding the pillow against himself.

Makoto hovered awkwardly by the doorway. It had been a long time since he’d noticed any marks on Nagisa’s body. He thought that Nagisa had moved past it all but seeing the fresh cuts suddenly made him feel helpless.

Nagisa watched Makoto carefully, tilting his head slightly to rest against the pillow that he clasped against his chest like a shield.

“You don’t need to look so worried. Honestly, I’m fine,” Nagisa spoke calmly, as though he was simply commenting on the state of the weather rather than his emotional wellbeing.

Makoto moved away from the door and came to stand by the bed, folding his arms as he looked down at the young man he’d known since childhood. Nagisa wilted beneath his stare and immediately looked away, holding the pillow just a little tighter. He looked so small. Makoto found himself shifting to kneel by the bed, seeking eye contact once more.

“Have you at least cleaned the wounds?” he asked softly, knowing better than to pry for details when Nagisa didn’t want to give them. He’d talk when he was ready but it was obvious that right now he needed friendship, not therapy.

“ _Yes_ ,” Nagisa sighed with exasperation before reaching out to comb his fingers through Makoto’s soft brown hair. “You worry too much,” he added softly, light pink lips curving into a small smile.

“I care about you,” Makoto replied easily as Nagisa continued to play with his hair.

Nagisa’s smile faltered just a little but he quickly fixed it back in place. He withdrew his hand from his friend’s hair and shoved the pillow out of his lap so that he could stand up. Without sparing Makoto another glance, he walked over to the bedroom window and began busying himself by fidgeting with the photo frames and ornaments that decorated the windowsill. Makoto pushed himself to his feet and watched him with a small frown. It had been so long since Nagisa had been distant like this.

“Will Kisumi be back tonight?” Nagisa asked idly, picking up the small orca figure that Makoto had received for his birthday a while ago.

_Will we be able to fuck here?_

 “I don’t think so.”

_Yes._

“Well that makes this much easier. Remember when we left him locked outside that time and he got all angry at you?” Nagisa all but purred but his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. He toyed with the orca figurine, keeping his eyes downcast.

A blush crawled up Makoto’s neck and coloured his cheeks at the memory. That was the first time anyone had been made aware of he and Nagisa’s arrangement.

“ _Please_ don’t remind me,” Makoto groaned, “I should probably text him to make sure he won’t be back tonight.” He paused briefly before adding, “Are you hungry or anything? We could get some food if you want.”

Irritation flashed across Nagisa’s face but the look was gone almost as swiftly as it appeared. Makoto felt an immediate stab of regret. They both knew why Nagisa was here and it would be wrong to try and act as though there was more to their relationship than sex now. Even when the blond was hurting, the last thing he wanted was for Makoto to try and mother him.

“I don’t need food, I need sex,” the breaststroke swimmer stated flatly, “Do you want to fuck me or not?”

Even though it had been months since they had begun whatever it was that they were to each other, Makoto still felt a small thrill whenever he heard the vulgarity that would sometimes leave those cherubic lips. There had been a time when Makoto would’ve been angry with himself for feeling such things but that time had long since passed. There was nothing innocent about Nagisa, just like there was nothing right with their current situation. How had they even come to this? How had Nagisa – sweet, playful Nagisa – gotten to the point where he would fuck away his feelings and use one of his best friends as a distraction? How had Makoto gotten to the point where he _allowed_ it?

If either of them put much thought into it, they’d be able to pinpoint the exact moment that the change had occurred. However, Nagisa didn’t want to think about anything right now and Makoto wanted to help him in any way that he could.

Makoto’s legs moved like clockwork towards the smaller boy and he gently removed the orca from his friend’s hands, placing it back on the windowsill. Nagisa looked up as a pair of large hands came to settle on his hips.

“You know I think you’re gorgeous,” Makoto spoke lowly, giving Nagisa’s hips a squeeze as he leaned in to nip at the blond’s neck, “I just want to make sure that I’m doing what’s best for you.”

Nagisa melted into the taller man’s touch, biting back a moan as Makoto began to trail kisses along his throat.

“I want you to make me forget.”

That was all that Makoto needed to hear. He claimed Nagisa’s lips in a slow kiss, sliding his hands down to grip the back of the blond’s thighs. Nagisa linked his arms around Makoto’s neck and allowed himself to be lifted up and carried back to the brunet’s bed, making a small pleased sound as he was laid against the mattress with Makoto on his hands and knees over him. A hand came up to tangle in Nagisa’s golden hair and Makoto continued his assault on the smaller boy’s throat. He bucked his hips involuntarily as his hair was tugged, desperately seeking friction. Nagisa’s lips parted in a soft whine as Makoto bit down and sucked at the junction where neck met shoulder. One of his hands remained fisted in the front of Makoto’s shirt while the other travelled down to palm the taller man through his pants, eliciting a quiet groan. Makoto moved up to catch Nagisa’s lips in a hard, dominating kiss as the blond rubbed against his cock.

Nagisa bit down on Makoto’s lower lip before withdrawing from the kiss and locking eyes with him, a small smile upon his lips.

“Can I…?” Nagisa trailed off, and Makoto had to suppress a laugh.

“You don’t have to ask!” he responded as the pair of them shifted around until Makoto was lying flat on his back with his shirt pulled up so that Nagisa could pepper kisses around his navel.

“You may as well just take your shirt off,” Nagisa quipped, to which Makoto immediately complied.

The blond crawled up to steal another rough kiss from Makoto’s lips, sliding his hand below the waistband of the taller man’s pants as he did so. A gentle gasp escaped the man’s mouth and Nagisa pulled away to give him a wicked grin. Then, without wasting any more time, Nagisa trailed a quick row of kisses down Makoto’s well-sculpted chest and nipped lightly at one of his hipbones. Makoto had an incredible body and no matter how many times they fucked, Nagisa would always be mesmerised by how good he truly looked. The broadness of his shoulders, the pure strength of his arms, the well-defined muscle of his torso; he was utterly perfect and everyone knew it. Nagisa grabbed the hem of Makoto’s pants and pulled them down around his thighs to free his cock, which stood tall and proud against his stomach. Making sure to maintain eye contact, Nagisa lowered himself to take the head of Makoto’s cock into his mouth. Another groan came from the former swim captain – louder this time. Nagisa’s own dick throbbed in response. Inch by inch, Nagisa moved along the hard shaft until he couldn’t take any more, then he began to bob up and down while occasionally pausing to tease at the head and the underside with his tongue.

Makoto was in heaven. A large hand moved to tangle itself in Nagisa’s blond curls and Makoto’s eyes slid shut for a moment as he succumbed to the blissful feeling of Nagisa’s warm mouth around his throbbing erection.

“You’re too good at this,” he murmured idly as he reopened his eyes so that he could watch.

Nagisa smiled around his cock and gave him a playful wink. He sucked diligently and determinedly, always pushing himself to take the two inches that couldn’t quite fit in his mouth. Makoto was never quite sure whether Nagisa liked doing this because he liked making people cum, or whether he liked doing it because he simply enjoyed having a cock in his mouth. There was something extremely attractive about the latter. The thought of Nagisa – sweet, gentle Nagisa – getting enjoyment from having his mouth fucked was something that Makoto had often found himself masturbating to. An idea popped into his head suddenly and his grip on Nagisa’s hair tightened, prompting him to stop and turn his gaze upwards; quizzical.

“I want to try something. Do you trust me?” Makoto asked quietly.

Nagisa pulled away, his lips red and glistening. “Of course I trust you,” he replied breathlessly, using the back of his wrist to wipe his lips.

Makoto pushed himself up and told Nagisa to kneel on the floor, to which he immediately obeyed. Makoto came to stand in front of him and began softly running his hand through Nagisa’s hair, smiling at the way he leant into the gentle touches in the same way that a cat might.

“I want you to deepthroat me, and I want you to kneel there and let me fuck your face until I’m close enough to cum. Then I’m going to fuck you. Does that sound okay?” he murmured, still toying with Nagisa’s hair.

Nagisa’s eyes widened a bit but he remained at Makoto’s feet.

“I’ve never been able to fit all of you in,” he began hesitantly, “I’ve never deepthroated anyone either, but I’m willing to try.”

They shared a smile and Makoto leaned down to place a kiss atop his forehead.

“Tap my leg or something if you need a break or if you want to stop,” Makoto said before straightening up.

He tightened his grip on Nagisa’s hair and guided the boy’s lips towards the head of his cock, pushing against those pink, cherubic lips that parted immediately. Nagisa welcomed the intrusion, letting out a soft hum of contentment as Makoto’s large cock slid along his tongue until the head pressed against his throat. The sensation caused Nagisa to gag slightly but Makoto’s hands held him firmly in place. Their eyes met. Wordlessly, Makoto began to thrust his cock into Nagisa’s mouth, relishing in the soft, wet warmth that surrounded his dick. With each thrust, his cock moved a little deeper until slowly he was completely sheathed within the tightness of Nagisa’s throat. The blond gagged sharply; a noise which only served to make Makoto’s cock even harder. He paused for a moment so that Nagisa could somewhat adjust to the sensation but then he began to move again – harder and faster this time.

Nagisa’s eyes were closed tightly and his hands remained balled into fists against his thighs, leaving his own erection completely untouched while Makoto assaulted his throat and mouth. He gagged again, adding to the series of vulgar, wet noises leaving his throat. Makoto loved it. There was a dark part of him that utterly enjoyed having Nagisa completely devoting himself to his pleasure, even at the cost of Nagisa's own comfort, and he knew Nagisa well enough to know that he not only loved being used this way, but that it was also something that he needed.

Another gagging sound, somewhat louder this time, and Nagisa frantically tapped at Makoto’s thigh with his palm. Makoto released his grip on Nagisa’s hair and allowed him to pull away. The blond gasped slightly as the cock left his throat and he immediately began to cough breathlessly, tears stinging at the corners of his eyes.

“Are you okay?” Makoto asked hurriedly.

Nagisa coughed again but nodded, raising a hand to wipe away the single tear that had slipped free from behind his blond eyelashes.

“I’m fine, I just need to breathe,” he managed to choke, “That was amazing though.”

Makoto smiled down at him fondly and then dropped down on one knee so that he could gently place a kiss against Nagisa’s temple. Nagisa responded by pulling off his shirt and looping his arms around Makoto’s neck so that he could pull him into a deep, intimate kiss. Makoto slipped one arm around Nagisa’s waist then gently leaned him back until the smaller man was lying on the floor.

“I noticed you haven’t touched your cock yet,” he whispered teasingly, placing a kiss close to Nagisa’s ear, “Doesn’t it feel neglected?” Another kiss. “I can’t imagine how frustrating it must feel to spend all this time trying to make me cum without spending any time on making yourself feel good.”

Nagisa turned his head to capture Makoto’s lips in a rough, biting kiss.

“Who says I don’t feel good?” he purred, “You know how much I love being on my knees for you.”

Makoto’s cock twitched as he remembered Nagisa kneeling breathlessly with Makoto’s cum across his face and chest; yes, he knew exactly how much Nagisa enjoyed kneeling for him.

They kissed again and Makoto made a point of biting a little harder than usual when he moved down to place hickeys upon Nagisa’s collarbones and chest. Each bite evoked soft little gasps and whines as the blond boy squirmed slightly beneath him. Normally Makoto would take this opportunity to pin Nagisa’s wrists to the ground but he was acutely aware of how that would probably hurt him right now, given the current state of his arms. As much as Nagisa didn’t mind pain, and as much as Makoto didn’t mind giving it to him, applying pressure to fresh cuts was not something that either of them would be comfortable with.

Makoto sat back and divested Nagisa of his remaining clothes, tossing them carelessly into a scattered pile across the room. Makoto moved in for another kiss, pretending not to see the cluster of semi-recent scars that were present on Nagisa’s hips and the top of his thighs. That was a conversation for another day. One of his hands wrapped around the shorter man’s cock, causing him to release a soft moan and buck his hips.

“You’re so beautiful,” Makoto uttered fiercely, nipping at Nagisa’s neck and jawline as his hand glided along his painfully hard cock, “I love all the little noises that you make.”

“Fuck me,” Nagisa whined, his voice breathless, “Please.”

The sound of Nagisa pleading to be fucked was a whole new thrill of its own, and Makoto’s dick throbbed pleasantly at the words.

“We should get back on the bed unless you want carpet burn,” Makoto grinned, releasing Nagisa’s cock and pulling away from him.

“Such a gentleman!” Nagisa giggled in response.

“I try my best.”

The pair of them rose to their feet and Nagisa sat himself on the bed while Makoto fumbled through the bedside drawer in search of lube and condoms. Originally he and Nagisa had rarely felt the need for protection, but after Makoto became aware that Nagisa was sleeping with multiple people, it had become a necessity. At the time, this had aggravated Nagisa greatly and they had almost argued about it, but in the end he agreed that it was important; Nagisa often acted impulsively and made many reckless decisions but Makoto refused to let this be one of them.

Nagisa watched him closely, keeping his legs spread as he sat back and supported himself with his arms. His cheeks were flushed and his lips were puffy from the blowjob and the biting. His hair was messy and ruffled from Makoto grabbing onto it and his cock was hard; the head flushed and slick with precum. Makoto turned and raked his eyes over every inch of the shorter man’s body, the lust and hunger clear in his olive green eyes. Nagisa grinned impishly and made a point of licking his lips, before biting his lower lip in an attempt to look coy.

Makoto snorted in amusement and sighed, “It really isn’t fair to tease me, ya know.”

Nagisa giggled. “C’mon, you’re literally about to have your dick in me. I can tease you if I want to.”

Makoto crawled onto the bed and caught Nagisa’s lips with his own in another powerful kiss then pulled away and held up the small bottle of lube.

“Prepare yourself for me.”

Nagisa’s eyes gleamed and he took the bottle without an objections. He loved it when Makoto gave him orders, and he loved it when Makoto watched him with those deep, soulful eyes. Mostly he just loved knowing how much he could turn him on without even touching him. Few people knew that Makoto had a wicked imagination or a filthy mouth, but Nagisa did and he adored it almost as much as he adored Makoto himself.

After opening the bottle and squirting a liberal amount of lube onto his fingers, Nagisa handed the bottle back to Makoto and then readjusted himself, keeping his legs spread. Slowly, Nagisa circled his entrance with two fingers, almost shivering at the coldness of the lube. He kept his eyes fixed upon Makoto’s face and offered him an almost smug grin before slowly pushing both fingers into himself. Makoto watched intently and began to slide the condom onto his cock so that he could watch Nagisa’s every move without pause. Nagisa groaned softly as he began to push his fingers rhythmically in and out of his tight entrance, tilting his head back as he did so. His eyelids slid shut over his bright eyes as his fingers moved faster and he became lost in the sensation. This was bliss. His tongue darted out to moisten his lips and he laid back against the soft mattress so that he could bring his other hand up to his cock.

Makoto wanted a show, and Nagisa sure as hell was going to give him one.

Nagisa let out a few little gasps as he pushed he curled his fingers in search of his prostate. His other hand glided along his shaft with smooth, quick strokes. Another gasp – louder this time. His back arched slightly as he forced a third finger into his tight heat, desperately seeking that sweet bundle of nerves that would make him see stars. Makoto was transfixed, his olive eyes drinking in the beautiful display before him. Nagisa was gorgeous, incredible, captivating; perfect. Without taking his gaze away from the beautiful blond, Makoto reopened the bottle of lube and spilled some onto his hand. Immediately, he brought that hand down to his cock and began to match his strokes with Nagisa’s. He was so, so close but he couldn’t let himself cum just yet. Rather than asking Nagisa to stop, Makoto let go of his dick and moved forward. He extended a hand and placed it over Nagisa’s smaller one, eliciting a gentle hum from the boy. Keeping his hand around Nagisa’s, Makoto began to stroke roughly along his shaft, faster and faster before suddenly squeezing down at the base, causing Nagisa to cry out.

“You can cum when I fuck you,” Makoto said as he released his grip on Nagisa’s hand and cock.

Nagisa’s eyes opened and he said nothing as Makoto gently pulled his hand away from his hole. He let out a quiet whine of disappointment as his fingers left him, but there was an undercurrent of excitement as he knew what was about to happen. He expected to be fucked right there but instead, Makoto grabbed hold of him and flipped him over onto his stomach with swift ease. Nagisa grinned as another jolt of excitement coursed through him; Makoto’s strength was immensely attractive, and there was something hot about the knowledge that Makoto was strong enough to do literally whatever he wanted to him.

Makoto pulled Nagisa’s hips up slightly so that he was lying flat on his chest with ass in the air and he took a moment to admire the view. Like Makoto, Nagisa had been a swimmer for years and he had the body to prove it. He wasn’t broad by any means, in fact he was rather slim, but his taut, lithe muscle suited him well and complimented his narrow waist. He had an adorable pair of dimples right above the smooth curve of his ass, which was round and perfect for spanking. The delightful blond curls atop his head only added to his charm, making him seem so cute and cherubic. It was easy to see why people had a hard time saying no to someone so perfect.

Without a word, Makoto gripped tightly onto Nagisa’s hips and pushed in with one steady thrust until he was completely sheathed to the hilt. Nagisa let out a loud moan at the sensation and Makoto allowed him a moment to adjust to the feeling before immediately starting to thrust hard and fast, fucking him with an unrelenting roughness. The sound of skin slapping against skin was accompanied by a chorus of Nagisa’s loud whines and moans. The bed creaked beneath them and the headboard slammed against the wall but neither of them cared, they were simply too lost in each other. Nagisa’s fingers gripped tightly at the bedsheets as Makoto slammed into him harder and harder, causing his legs to feel weak. Precum leaked shamelessly from the tip of his cock and each thrust created a beautiful burst of friction between his cock and the bed. Makoto grabbed a handful of Nagisa’s hair and yanked him back harshly. Nagisa cried out but made no objections, allowing himself to be pulled up against Makoto’s broad chest. The hand in his hair moved down to toy with one of his nipples, pinching lightly to illicit another moan.

Makoto held him tight against his chest and bit down down hard against his neck as he thrust in harder than before. Nagisa let out a yell but Makoto didn’t give him any chance to recover. Instead, he forced him back down against the bed and began to fuck him as hard as he could manage.

“I’m gon—I’m gonna cum,” Nagisa cried out breathlessly, “Makoto – Makoto _fuck_ I’m gonna cum.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, Makoto’s cock slammed against his prostate and Nagisa all but screamed. Makoto fucked him through the orgasm, continuing to pound against his prostate again and again until Nagisa was a trembling, whimpering mess beneath him. Finally, Makoto leaned down and bit hard against Nagisa’s shoulder to muffle the loud groan that tore from his throat as he came, panting.

The two of them remained like that for a moment; Nagisa lying against the bed with Makoto slumped over him, both of them flushed, sticky, and out of breath. Neither said a word, instead they just quietly enjoyed the afterglow. After a few moments passed, Makoto sat up and slowly pulled out, causing Nagisa to wince and let out a hiss of discomfort.

“Sorry,” he said with a fond smile before peeling off the condom.

“Don’t be,” Nagisa replied, slowly pushing himself up so that he could roll onto his back, “That was incredible.”

Makoto’s smile grew and he rose from the bed to go dispose of the condom and retrieve a towel. When he returned, he found that Nagisa had wiped his cum up with his hand and was happily lapping it from his fingers. Makoto raised his eyebrows, only for Nagisa to shoot him a smirk in response.

“What? I actually like the taste! Or would you prefer it if I was licking up your cum instead?”

Makoto laughed at that. “I would actually, but I’m pretty spent right now.” It was only then that Makoto realised how tired he truly was. The shower had woken him a little but it had been a very long day, and he still hadn’t had anything to eat.

“At least you can still walk properly,” Nagisa quipped, and they both laughed.

They slowly drifted into silence as Makoto cleaned himself up and began collecting up Nagisa’s clothes so that he could fold them neatly and leave them in a square pile atop the chair in the corner. Nagisa didn’t look at him. Things often became awkward during this stage. Nagisa had successfully had his needs met, Makoto had successfully done his bit to give him what he wanted, and neither of them ever really knew what to do afterwards. Sometimes Nagisa liked to stay for as long as he could, sometimes he would leave as soon as they’d finished, and sometimes he didn’t know what he wanted. Makoto didn’t like to push him, so he remained silent and simply handed him his phone instead.

“Thanks,” Nagisa said quietly as he took hold of the device. He remained sprawled on Makoto’s bed and it didn’t seem like he was intending to rush out of the dorm just yet. Makoto went to find his own phone then came and sat down on the bed, making sure not to sit too close to Nagisa in case he wanted space now. Despite being such an open an honest person, he was rather hard to read and right now Makoto couldn’t quite tell what he wanted.  His eyes traced back to the collection of cuts that now adorned Nagisa’s arms and he felt a slight twinge in his chest. This wasn’t really something that he could just ignore, even if Nagisa didn’t want to talk about it.

“So…” he began hesitantly, feeling an immediate shift in Nagisa’s demeanour, “Do you wanna talk about it yet?”

“I’m honestly fine,” Nagisa replied after a moment, looking up from his phone to flash him a bright and seemingly genuine smile, “And I just had some really good sex with a really good guy, so let’s not ruin it, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Can we cuddle or something? Unless Kisumi’s back soon.”

The suggestion took Makoto by surprise. It was rare that Nagisa would request something like that anymore. “Of course! I will actually text Kisumi now though, just in case he does intend to come back tonight.”

Nagisa crawled along the bed and settled down beside his friend, watching him patiently as he waited for Makoto to pay attention to him. After a moment or two, Makoto finished typing and placed his phone on the bedside table, then he lay down against Nagisa and pulled him into his arms. The blond smiled and nestled close to the taller man’s chest. Makoto had a special way with people; he always managed to make everyone feel so calm and safe. Moments like this were what made Nagisa angry that Haru had thrown him aside so coldly, though he realised rather faintly that he himself wasn’t much better. Makoto wanted nothing more than to make people happy and Nagisa exploited that. He was exploiting it right now by using Makoto as an outlet so that he could fuck his feelings away and ignore his problems.

Makoto knew it but he let him do it anyway because he knew that Nagisa needed it. He knew that it helped somehow. He knew that if Nagisa wasn’t getting it from him, he’d be throwing himself at God knows who. Makoto let himself be used because Nagisa was his friend and he wanted to make him happy, even if it was at the cost of himself. He’d been the same with Haru, but Haru was different.

Makoto loved Haru.                

Tears burned at the corners of Nagisa’s eyes and he pressed himself closer against Makoto. His body shuddered as he began to sob and neither of them spoke as Makoto’s hand began to stroke his hair.

“I’m a really bad person,” Nagisa wept through gritted teeth.

“What? Nagisa –”

“No I am. I really, really am,” he hissed between sobs, “I’m selfish and I hurt people and I’m so fucking cruel. I don’t know why I’m like this. There’s just nothing good in me anymore and everything I do is so messed up and I’m so toxic but I don’t know how to stop!”

It broke Makoto’s heart to hear Nagisa speak about himself with such venom. He continued to card his fingers through his friend’s soft curls, trying to soothe him somewhat as he cried openly.

“I swear I don’t mean to be this way. I do care about you Makoto, I really do. I care about everyone so fucking much but –”

“Hey! Nagisa, hush okay? Just. Shh for a moment. Please.”

“No you need to understand –”

“ _Please_ listen for a second, okay?” Makoto’s tone was firm but his voice remained soft and quiet.

Nagisa sniffled. “Okay.”

“I know you care about me. I promise, alright? We’ve been friends our whole lives and you’ve always been good to me. Everyone who knows you will say that you’re a kind, loving, passionate person who adores his friends,” Makoto’s other hand began to trace gentle patterns against the smooth skin of Nagisa’s back, “You’ve brought so much goodness to so many people’s lives and without you, a lot of people wouldn’t have had the chance to meet, let alone become friends. Without you, I’m not sure if I’d have ever wanted to become a swim coach because without you, the swim team wouldn’t have existed.”

Nagisa remained silent as he spoke, but the tears continued to fall.

“I won’t pretend that I understand what’s going on with you right now but I want you to know that I’m always going to be here to support you through it, no matter what that requires. I’m never going to think differently of you and if you want me to do something that I don’t want to do, I will say no,” a wave of awkwardness washed over him then and he felt himself frown, “I know how to say no now. I’m better now. I won’t… be the way that I was with Haru.”

They both stiffened at that but it was something that needed to be said, or at least Makoto thought it did. Makoto had utterly devoted himself to Haru to the point where he had eventually become a doormat. Neither of them had intended for that to happen and Haru often didn’t realise that his actions were hurtful because Makoto simply didn’t tell him. It was a difficult situation for the both of them and it had ended atrociously but there was no chance for closure. Not for a while at least. Makoto had been trying to work on being more assertive and he definitely had a lot to learn in regard to putting himself first, but he was trying his best and he was certain that he would never be the way that he once was. Going to university and having Kisumi as a roommate had both been huge steps in the right direction.

“Do you still love him?” Nagisa asked sheepishly, raising one hand to wipe away the tears that continued to fall silently from his eyes.

_Of course I do._

“This isn’t about him. Or me.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t apologise.” Makoto pressed a kiss to the smaller boy’s forehead. “Honestly Nagisa, you’re not a bad person. I know my words can’t change the way that you feel about yourself but… I think you’re pretty amazing. Lots of other people do too.”

Nagisa let out another sob, but this time it wasn’t because he was hurting. “You’re way too nice to me!” he protested, but Makoto could hear a smile in his voice.

“I’m just being honest! You have so much light inside of you –”

“ _Stop!”_

Nagisa jabbed at his chest and they both laughed. Almost instinctively, Makoto began to tickle at Nagisa’s sides, causing the younger boy to let out a pure shriek of indignation that was quickly overridden by a burst of laughter.

“Nooo! St – stop! Ma – ko – to!” Nagisa shrieked, each word punctuated with giggles, “Makoto! Lemme go!”

“I’ll stop when you accept that you’re good!”

“Nooo!”

The pair of them rolled around on the bed, Nagisa furiously trying to escape Makoto’s grasp. It was a useless struggle. Makoto was much taller and much stronger; fighting was futile. The assault continued until Nagisa was laughing so much that he could hardly breathe.

“Okay, okay! Ma – Mako-chan stop!”

“Are you a good person?”

“Yes! Are you happy now? I’m good and amazing and wonderful.”

Makoto grinned from ear to ear. “I’m glad that you think so, because it’s true.”

Nagisa giggled at that. “You’re so lame,” he teased, reaching out to flick Makoto’s nose. Makoto dodged quickly, resulting in a loud whine of protest from the boy beneath him. The brunet laughed heartily but as his laughter faded he realised how long it had been since the two of them had actually messed around like this. It was good to hear Nagisa properly laugh again. He studied the smaller boy’s face and found himself met with a look of confusion.

“What is it?” Nagisa asked cautiously.

“Nagisa…”

“Yeah?”

Makoto opened his mouth to speak but before he could say anything, his stomach growled loudly. Colour flooded into Makoto’s cheeks and Nagisa cackled with laughter, which in turn caused Makoto to smile.

“Let’s get food, okay? I haven’t eaten yet and I’m sure you’re pretty hungry too.”

“Okay! I’m gonna use your shower first though. You can join me if you want,” Nagisa waggled his eyebrows jokingly at the last sentence. He seemed to be in a much brighter mood than before, to which Makoto was thankful.

“I actually showered before you came over but I guess I will need another one now…” he sighed.

“Yes! Shower with me, then we can get food after.”

Makoto’s lips curved into a genuine smile and he reached out to cup Nagisa’s face with one hand, gently tracing his thumb over his lower lip. Nagisa met his gaze and offered him a small, impish smile before placing a soft kiss against the digit.

It felt as though a weight had been lifted. No matter what happened, they were going to be completely fine.

**Author's Note:**

> i was literally listening to abba while i wrote this


End file.
